Growing a Little Garden

The most difficult part of losing our house has not been losing the house.

Not for me.

It has been the loss of my garden, my yard with its' apple trees, blueberry bushes,

grapevines, and ten years of carefully tended perennials.

I thought I was okay with it until spring showed up but I find myself grieving the loss of my growing things.

And experiencing a certain amount of worry for their future.

I drove by recently and at last there is work going on.

Signs of life instead of neglect.

Hopefully there will be a new family in our old home soon.

They can enjoy all of the things we enjoyed.

I hope by June there is a family there in time to sit by the fire pit and watch the fireflies in their full glory.

Because we must grow things.....

here is Joe tending his little garden, a geranium, some ivy,

and nasturtiums and johnny jump ups that we started from seed

along with our tiny herb garden which is outgrowing its' present pot

more geraniums and nasturtiums

and then there are the wild things growing nearby

including some Lily of the Valley

trilliums

tiny moss

and more moss

anyone know what these are?

an enterprising city mouse is using hosta leaves to make a nest in a drain pipe

another mystery flower which is growing in abundance in the lot behind us.

Of course there are beautiful things growing everywhere,

I just need to remind myself to stop and look at them,

and be a little less proprietary.

I really do hope someone is in our old house soon,

I hate thinking of her shabby and forlorn,

forgotten.

She is a wonderful house in need of love.

She already has lots of flowers.

Achooo! said the Bride

The button bouquets are done!

Packed off first for a wedding showcase in Warren, RI

and the off to my friend Bridget's shop

The Greenery

on Water Street in Warren.

Here is the first.

Made from vintage buttons

beads

a wirework birds nest

and some odds and ends

Birds on a Wire

and Yarn! fluffed up and looking feathery

I am really pleased with how it came out

I hope some bride to be feels the same.

And for those allergic to flowers and bees

but love them just the same

Here is the Bumble Bee Bouquet

bright and beautiful and

my favorite so far

Then there are sneeze less centerpieces

and nosegays

to brighten the tables

at any country wedding

I think I will make a bouquet in these colors as well

already for display

last but not least

Nellie's contribution

 My personal favorite

and the one I'll be keeping just for me.

Hoppy Easter

The eggspacular begins

Nellie eggsplains how much She loves me!

an eggstraordinary tribute to Mickey Mouse

self portrait in purple

annual Doctor Who Tribute egg

Spectacular Eggspacular

it takes time

the great plastic egg hunt begins

cupcake eggs hiding in the bushes

looking looking looking

and finding

above egg hunting but not above eating chocolate!



Happy Easter.  Our first in our new home, without our big yard, but it worked.

We had ham for dinner, we had friends for company,

we had baskets, and eggs, and too much candy.

We are all here together.

It does not get better than that.

Love and Blessings on Your Easter

and Your Family

from Us to You!

this is my boy

this is my son, my bright beautiful fourteen year old boy.

chasing seagulls on the beach in a rare moment of joy.

what you don't see in the picture is his ongoing struggle with

anxiety and depression.

it's ok if you know, if i have managed to teach him

one thing

it

is that he treats his disease like a disease

and one that bears no shame.

he has a kind heart and he loves his auntie.

when he was small he thought everyone in a wheelchair

was an auntie.

now he knows better and he lets her borrow

his bright red jacket.

he loves his brother too,

not that you can always tell.

they get along...

......like brothers.

After two years and more than a dozen hospitalizations

we made the decision today to put him

into long term residential care.

me, his dad, his doctors.

and this decision breaks our hearts

even though we know it is his best chance

for recovery.

i am writing it all out like this because i want

to talk about.

i know the people who love him want to know what

is going on.

but i can't ''talk'' about it.

not out loud.

not with everyone.

it is too much.

every one's thoughts and prayers,

love and well wishes,

mean everything to me.

if i am the glue trying to hold him together

you are the glue holding me together

so that i can stay strong.

and hope.

someday he will look like this all the time.

and all of you will have helped get him there.

Buttons, Bouquets, and Walls of Beauty

Imagine your is child having a nightmare. 

Imagine that nightmare has become her waking world.

All of your hugs,

All of your kisses, and words of comfort,

All of them together are not as big

as the nightmare holding her captive.

That is the world my sister is trapped in.

Hospitalized by her own request before she lost the will to fight the

voices urging her to violence.

My sister lying on the floor saying, ''I am good"

"I'm not going to hurt you, call the rescue mommy"

 Lost for the while in her madness

her sweetness still comes through.

The hospital staff see, and look out for her.

It had been so long we had forgotten what schizophrenia means.

Nellie and I sit an the corner of my room and make button flowers.

Set to the task by a friend's request

they are a wall of pretty in the fortress we need

to get through the worry and sadness.

                                             
                                               A sparkling brightness that brings me back

to days of playing with my grandmother's

button tin and feeling it was treasure.

Nellie and I lost in the rather mundane task of looping wire through

button holes and twisting it into a stem

over and over.

Like saying a rosary

or meditating.

Something pretty grows out of the task.

A bit of cheer in the corner catching the light.

I held my sister tonight and sang Christmas songs

in my off key fashion.
Left her in the hands of the hospital staff and

gave her a kiss goodnight.

Then I headed home to my corner of pretty things.

My little one sleeping on my bed behind me.

My girl fixing me a cup of tea,

and me, twisting wire and worry

into hope.

And Love,

And Peace.



of bedbugs and blizzards

yep. bedbugs.  i won't go into the distressing yuckiness of it all.

let's just say it involves emptying out our home of everything but furniture,

many many hours at the laundromat with the very nice owner helping out,

seven people-two hotels rooms for one week,

and a dumpster full of perfectly good things

clothes. books. bedding. toys, even some from this christmas. cd's

and all of my yarn.

and cheap ways to have fun, like walking to the airport and "riding" the skywalk

teenage boys don't seem to have any trouble adapting to hotel life.

dancing and walking backwards to stay in place

enjoying the view

nice fifth position ballet boy

walking and giggling and going home!

oh. into a blizzard.

and making snowed in snowflakes.

without mom's help

look at mine!

snow and more snow

some boys are just happy to be re-united with their best friend

my coffee making snow shoveling helper

really happy to be united

more snuggling with another happy to be home cat

if you drive by my house the windows look like this

and this.

life is slowly getting back to normal. just with a lot less stuff.

it would be overwhelming,

should be.

but just like last year when we lost our house we have been showered with kindness

and support.

our friends, our church, just about everyone.

when you have to get rid of stuff,

lots and lots of stuff,

you realize you will not lose the memories connected to those things,

there is less to dust,

and kindness and love make you happier than a boat load of things ever could.